Hmm. I read through 'Xenocide' at the library yesterday, only a flip through, really, because I was pressed for time. And then I could understand why, in his introduction, Mr Card called that book 'ambitious'. I sort of thought that there were two aspects to the book; one dealt with the meat of the story, the philosophical ideas- the philotes (sp?), the concept of humanity, fanaticism and the nature of.. er, thinking creatures etc. The other aspect was Ender himself, his growth as a character.

I was mildly disappointed in both aspects, although I can't really judge the book until I go back and read it more carefully again. For the ideological part, mainly because they (the ideas) didn't seem to blend with the characters and the story flow- which is strange, because the main thrust of the story was based on ideas, and as ideas, I liked them for themselves. I enjoyed the twist of the descolada possibly being a sentient species, the pequeninos possibly /being/ the deadly virus that threatened the civilization of man, but resolving the problem with the recolada came about just as too fast and too pat a solution, I felt. The faster than light-speed travel discovery and the part about Jane's survival also seemed rather forced. And the bit where his young siblings were created out of his mind lost me entirely; I couldn't grok the purpose of it. Xenocide seems to me as really part of the same book as Speaker for the Dead; it continued the same ideas, in the same lines, and Speaker seemed unfinished, unstable as a single book, when I read it. Unfortunately Xenocide also has an unfinished feel to it.

Characterwise, Xenocide, I think, gave almost the equivalent of Ender having a mid-life crisis, only he was supposed be around sixty at the time of the story. Which I found strange. In 'Ender's Game', I never really thought of Ender as a child- it was as if age didn't apply to him, because he was so intelligent and so empathic that he reacted to events better than experienced adults would, and went through so much that any innocence he retained would be not so much the innocence of youth as an innate quality that would be part of him no matter what age he was.

(Ender's Game was my runaway favorite of all Mr Card's books so far- granted, I've only read these three, a short story, and Hart's Hope, but. It stands apart from the rest in terms of content, focus, style and pace. I think of it as one of those nihilistic observations of human nature- like Lord of the Flies, only the good guy wins. What made it stand out was the compassionate approach Ender gave to the story: Yes, humans destroy, and to survive we must sometimes kill, but at the end of it, we're not such bad people after all, even the worst of us have our redeeming qualities, even the worst of us are simply.. human. That hope will be there if you look for it. That sometimes loving is the greatest emotion and also the greatest weakness of all.)

I loved the Ender of Game, because he was so vulnerable and so strong at the same time, because he was better than me, but I felt as if I could totally understand him. Because he was as perfect as I could expect any man to be, but he felt real. In some ways I built that up to be an ideal in my mind, gradually battered at by the Ender of the following books. Ender of Speaker seemed believable as a thirty-something; not as impressive as the young (I was going to say old) Ender, but someone I could believe that Ender would grow into. Ender of Xenocide seemed to have lost his purpose. He was supposed to have tremendous empathy, but through the thirty years that passed between Speaker and Xenocide he seemed to understand the people around him less, not more. Like Valentine said (though she meant it as a joke), "he grew stupid", which seems an ugly thing to say, but that's the impression I got.

Likewise I felt that the supporting characters of the three books got progressively less impressive.. Game had the most interesting cast- not just Ender's friends (Alai, Bean and Petra being two of the more interesting ones) but the adults. I liked Graff, especially where Ender was delirious and he sat with him, telling him that he loved him. I didn't like Peter at the beginning. It would be difficult to, but after "Ender, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm your brother, I'm sorry, I love you," and the way his character was handled and resolved, I felt that he became more than just a symbolic character- Ender's nemesis, humanity, and in the process yet more of a symbolic character than I could have imagined him. In contrast, Mazer Rackham was a bit disappointing; almost stereotyped. (Rackety wise old mentor- I know I've seen his character about in other places, but can't pull an example up on the spot) I would have expected more from one there was so much hype about.

Speaker's characters, in contrast, were of different types.. I liked them, but I think that that's where Mr Card began to have a bit of trouble juggling and fleshing out so many different characters. I quite liked the Novinha of Speaker, but I didn't see how or why Ender was so deeply in love with her; he was called to Speak by her, true, but he'd probably been called to Speak by many people before, why her? Because of her circumstance? Or because of her timing? I liked her children, but they, too, struck me as stereotypes. "This is the harried older sister who takes on the mother's duties in the mother's neglect." "This is the outcast with the deformity." "This is the tortured, traumatised youngest kid." "This is the religious fanatic." And I can't claim to know much about Catholic communities, but Mr Card seemed to have built its atmosphere up from rote. But what I thought was a brilliant touch was the pequenino politics. When a species is called 'piggies', affectionately or not, it was easy to fall into the habit of thinking that they were like the livestock, which I suppose to some extent supported the characters' views of them, but the character of Human was very well done, I thought, and his rivalry with Leaf-eater bespoke subtle power-play which brought to me, more than any thing else, the sense of pequeninos being 'ramen'.

In Xenocide, I thought that the characters became yet flatter. There was foreshadowing with Plikt and Valentine's oldest child, begun in Speaker and continued in the earlier bits of Xenocide, but nothing really came of it, as if he forgot about them halfway through writing the book. The children of Novinha grew up exactly as I would expect their /stereotypes/ to grow up, not really being changed by Ender; and there was a whole lot of change in Ender and Novinha's relationship that I didn't really get. Ender's relationship with the Hive Queen and with Human was also rather disappointing; I would have thought that Ender of all people would be able to establish closer rapport than that. That being said, I rather liked the Hive Queen herself- she was unexpectedly.. unexpected, and I enjoyed reading her conversations with Human/Rooter.

..goodness, I've written almost an essay already. I think I'll leave my thoughts here for now..

*Here be spoilers for bits of the Ender Series*

Hmm. I read through 'Xenocide' at the library yesterday, only a flip through, really, because I was pressed for time. And then I could understand why, in his introduction, Mr Card called that book 'ambitious'. I sort of thought that there were two aspects to the book; one dealt with the meat of the story, the philosophical ideas- the philotes (sp?), the concept of humanity, fanaticism and the nature of.. er, thinking creatures etc. The other aspect was Ender himself, his growth as a character.

I was mildly disappointed in both aspects, although I can't really judge the book until I go back and read it more carefully again. For the ideological part, mainly because they (the ideas) didn't seem to blend with the characters and the story flow- which is strange, because the main thrust of the story was based on ideas, and as ideas, I liked them for themselves. I enjoyed the twist of the descolada possibly being a sentient species, the pequeninos possibly /being/ the deadly virus that threatened the civilization of man, but resolving the problem with the recolada came about just as too fast and too pat a solution, I felt. The faster than light-speed travel discovery and the part about Jane's survival also seemed rather forced. And the bit where his young siblings were created out of his mind lost me entirely; I couldn't grok the purpose of it. Xenocide seems to me as really part of the same book as Speaker for the Dead; it continued the same ideas, in the same lines, and Speaker seemed unfinished, unstable as a single book, when I read it. Unfortunately Xenocide also has an unfinished feel to it.

Characterwise, Xenocide, I think, gave almost the equivalent of Ender having a mid-life crisis, only he was supposed be around sixty at the time of the story. Which I found strange. In 'Ender's Game', I never really thought of Ender as a child- it was as if age didn't apply to him, because he was so intelligent and so empathic that he reacted to events better than experienced adults would, and went through so much that any innocence he retained would be not so much the innocence of youth as an innate quality that would be part of him no matter what age he was.

(Ender's Game was my runaway favorite of all Mr Card's books so far- granted, I've only read these three, a short story, and Hart's Hope, but. It stands apart from the rest in terms of content, focus, style and pace. I think of it as one of those nihilistic observations of human nature- like Lord of the Flies, only the good guy wins. What made it stand out was the compassionate approach Ender gave to the story: Yes, humans destroy, and to survive we must sometimes kill, but at the end of it, we're not such bad people after all, even the worst of us have our redeeming qualities, even the worst of us are simply.. human. That hope will be there if you look for it. That sometimes loving is the greatest emotion and also the greatest weakness of all.)

I loved the Ender of Game, because he was so vulnerable and so strong at the same time, because he was better than me, but I felt as if I could totally understand him. Because he was as perfect as I could expect any man to be, but he felt real. In some ways I built that up to be an ideal in my mind, gradually battered at by the Ender of the following books. Ender of Speaker seemed believable as a thirty-something; not as impressive as the young (I was going to say old) Ender, but someone I could believe that Ender would grow into. Ender of Xenocide seemed to have lost his purpose. He was supposed to have tremendous empathy, but through the thirty years that passed between Speaker and Xenocide he seemed to understand the people around him less, not more. Like Valentine said (though she meant it as a joke), "he grew stupid", which seems an ugly thing to say, but that's the impression I got.

Likewise I felt that the supporting characters of the three books got progressively less impressive.. Game had the most interesting cast- not just Ender's friends (Alai, Bean and Petra being two of the more interesting ones) but the adults. I liked Graff, especially where Ender was delirious and he sat with him, telling him that he loved him. I didn't like Peter at the beginning. It would be difficult to, but after "Ender, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm your brother, I'm sorry, I love you," and the way his character was handled and resolved, I felt that he became more than just a symbolic character- Ender's nemesis, humanity, and in the process yet more of a symbolic character than I could have imagined him. In contrast, Mazer Rackham was a bit disappointing; almost stereotyped. (Rackety wise old mentor- I know I've seen his character about in other places, but can't pull an example up on the spot) I would have expected more from one there was so much hype about.

Speaker's characters, in contrast, were of different types.. I liked them, but I think that that's where Mr Card began to have a bit of trouble juggling and fleshing out so many different characters. I quite liked the Novinha of Speaker, but I didn't see how or why Ender was so deeply in love with her; he was called to Speak by her, true, but he'd probably been called to Speak by many people before, why her? Because of her circumstance? Or because of her timing? I liked her children, but they, too, struck me as stereotypes. "This is the harried older sister who takes on the mother's duties in the mother's neglect." "This is the outcast with the deformity." "This is the tortured, traumatised youngest kid." "This is the religious fanatic." And I can't claim to know much about Catholic communities, but Mr Card seemed to have built its atmosphere up from rote. But what I thought was a brilliant touch was the pequenino politics. When a species is called 'piggies', affectionately or not, it was easy to fall into the habit of thinking that they were like the livestock, which I suppose to some extent supported the characters' views of them, but the character of Human was very well done, I thought, and his rivalry with Leaf-eater bespoke subtle power-play which brought to me, more than any thing else, the sense of pequeninos being 'ramen'.

In Xenocide, I thought that the characters became yet flatter. There was foreshadowing with Plikt and Valentine's oldest child, begun in Speaker and continued in the earlier bits of Xenocide, but nothing really came of it, as if he forgot about them halfway through writing the book. The children of Novinha grew up exactly as I would expect their /stereotypes/ to grow up, not really being changed by Ender; and there was a whole lot of change in Ender and Novinha's relationship that I didn't really get. Ender's relationship with the Hive Queen and with Human was also rather disappointing; I would have thought that Ender of all people would be able to establish closer rapport than that. That being said, I rather liked the Hive Queen herself- she was unexpectedly.. unexpected, and I enjoyed reading her conversations with Human/Rooter.

..goodness, I've written almost an essay already. I think I'll leave my thoughts here for now..

Checked my SAT results today, after waiting fruitlessly for them to arrive by post. Again, one of the type of results that make me undecided about retaking the paper or not..

I realise I sound pretty pathetic. Oh well. But my family's other computer is over six years old (we have another, which is probably what, eight? older than I remember)- and it doesn't crash much. In fact, I can't remember the last time it hanged and I had to reboot it. And I'm only sitting here typing this on the /new/ computer because I don't want to give it an overwhelming sense of inferiority complex. And I don't want it to get nervous, yes~.

Sorry. Still basking in the new computer feeling. Even deleting words is faster, despite the same old keyboard. Just sit there and leave my finger on the keyboard and watch the flashing thing whooosh across the screen. It's fun, yes. I'm deprived.

Not for things to read. It's funny, but I'm spending my afternoons reading novels- I think the past week I averaged one to two books a day? With the result that I have to sleep later finishing homework. But, oh, the books. Been reading Dragonlance- fault of some friends, reading them in class. I originally discovered the series about five years ago, but never really got past assorted short stories and the Twins trilogy. I didn't really like them too much because I felt that they simplified the concepts of 'good' and 'evil' too much- but reading the later books makes me want to read more.

And I've been reading more than just Dragonlance, too. Read also various Prachett books, more Sheri S. Tepper, dsicovered Lynn Flewelling- and have developed a burning urge to get hold of more Orson Scott Card. (Read Ender's Game.) ((Read is such a funny word. I realise the last sentence- or phrase, if you're a stickler for such things- can be read in two ways, and both would be different but right.))

Ender's Game was.. gripping. I mean that almost literally- not only could I not let go of the book while I was reading it, I kept turning back to read parts of it over again after I'd finished, as if it had sunk hooks in my mind. (Oh, and it kept me up until one /trying/ to finish my homework, too.) What can I say about it except that I loved it? It has its flaws, of course, but at the end of it there were sad endings, and happy endings, and I wanted to both clap my hands and cry.

(Right now, though, I want the sequel. Yay for coming from the generation of instant gratification. Got to go get it sometime.) Definitely have to get more of this author's books, too. I'd previously read a short story of his, Unfinished Sonata, and it made me want to cry, too, it was so sad and so right. Normally I hate reading stories which involve music because music, or the making of it, is something so important and so sacred to me that I become a stiff-whatevered purist and slavering bigot whenever it is concerned. (Cringed at Lackey's Bardic Voices, MacCaffrey's Crystal Singers, wanted to hunt down and DESTROY whoever did Dragon Voice. And refuse to think of, say the characters of Gravitation as being real musicians. Pop idols, yes, musicians, no. It's a personal thing.) But the way Mr Card wrote it, it was.. right. Nothing else I want to say about it.

Moving on, I liked Lynn Flewelling. One comment; her work seemed to me like something I'd read online, like original fiction by a yaoi fan, only with a stronger, richer, plot and setting, and longer buildup.

One book I particularly want to mention is "The Book of Night with Moon", by Diane Duane. "Cats!" I was thinking, when I got it. "Kitties! Wizards! Kitty Wizards! Fun!" What I actually got, though, was a thorough dose of Magical Kitty Messiah Action. What is it, this fascination with genesis and The Eternal Struggle? Do Cats Have Existential Angst? *coughs* It's a good book. Read it if you can find it.

And that ends my life for today. Oh, and I passed my Chinese AOs, too. Was a bit worried for a while, because the paper was rather difficult. I got one of those grades where I'm not sure whether I should retake the paper just because I can, or if I should drop Chinese to concentrate on other things. Decisions, decisions. Math calls. Must stop playing with the shiny new computer, unless I want to stay up until one again.

Oh, and has anybody ever got the feeling where you write long and tortured backstory for one character only to realise, near the end, that he's morphed into another? In this case, Cloud. Cloud turning into Shinji. I need sleep.

...er.

The Yaoi Selector: Which Seme are You?
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Double er.

I should watch Eva again. The thinking part of my mind never really got past the ballet dancing giant mecha part.

Ah well, busy week. Homework, homework, and I'm still behind, on almost every subject. But my tests should be over until the common tests, so that's vaguely.. better. I get the feeling that I have things to say, only every time I actually get around to having time and space to say it, I forget what I want to say. I think I'm going crazy. Failing that, I think my brains (what there are of them) are slowly rotting through overuse, wearing away bit by bit until things that shouldn't have worried me at all now take years to complete.

I think the more educated I become, the more discontent I get. And it's not even a weird thought, because ignorance being bliss thus the opposite standing should be a given, given the way I think.

Tracy needs this computer now, so I shall end this here.

Monday- Spend in fear/anticipation and listening to friends chatter in fear/anticipation of jumbo run and phys ed test. Anticipation builds throughout day. Then teacher postpones test.

Tuesday- Run. A lot.

Wednesday- Wake up. Realise that self does not, in fact, hurt. Congratulate self.

Thursday- Wake up. Realise that self hurts. Limp. Curse, because have phys ed and must needs run. Again.

Friday- Drag self to school to pass notes to friend, despite the decided paucity of academic lessons to be learnt on day. Meet at least four people who remark in surprise at self coming to school when there are no lessons. Find self amused.

#26 I enjoy dominating people and making life miserable for them. How long will I be able to keep it up?

Gotta catch them all! Gotta catch them all! *cackle*

For some reason the image of Sephiroth won't leave my mind. You know, end-game Sephiroth, where you get to see him stripped to the waist and looking absolutely gorgeous- the best scene of him in the entire game, in my opinion- there are too few good scenes of him. This is an unsubtle hint to someone to train up in final mix when she has time so that I can see the Cloud/Sephiroth reunion scene. =P

..my reaction to learning that Kingdom Hearts, Final Mix had a special Cloud/Seph scene that you have to beat Sephiroth (and in Japanese, too!) to get to: AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaaAAAA

Met Meia today to pass her a DN Angel poster, which, as Yukiru Sugisaki artwork, was beautiful, but is probably more notable for being of the "Daisuke and Dark switched bodies with Satoshi and Krad" sort, because those were so not Dark and Dai-chan expressions. And Dark doesn't molest Daisuke.

We wandered to Kinokuniya, so that she could collect her Loki Ragnarok (which took almost twice the promised time to arrive from Japan), and while she was at the counter I perused the Chinese Jump comics section (having become a shameless Jump ho) only to find that HIKARU NO GO 20 was out in Chinese even before the Japanese version. Oh, Kino. Although I'll probably be collecting my reservation for the Japanese tankouban as well, just so I can check out some of the translations. Not that my Japanese is anything to speak of, but the local publisher (much as I love them for being prompt) has the nasty habit of changing some of the meanings in their translations. They did it to Houshin Engi (the ending phrase! messed up!), and I have the sneaky suspicion that they're doing it to Hikago.

Blah. But anyway, I promised Jane some Harry Potter fanfic recs, and there is also this that a friend sent me, which had me in stitches. There was text with the picture, which I'm too lazy to put up, and it made me laugh too. Only it would have been funnier had "middle-earth" been China. Ah well.

Recs:

First, Lust Over Pendle, by A J Hall. It's a very unusual pairing, the type you never ever want to see, but it's well written, hilarious, and it works. I won't mention the pairing here. It's scared at least one person I know off before.

Then there's Slowly, But Exceeding Fine by Ellen Fremedon, another very unusual pairing- in fact, the one pairing I'd have thought I'd never want to see, but rendered here in exquisite story. It involves Sirius/Snape, if you're adventurous enough to go look.

I liked Liz Barr's Just Like My Daddy a lot. Continuing in the (why am I doing this?) trend of unconformity, it involves young James and Snape. Very good. Very dark, but.

The Sun Sets Twice Again is still in progress, but I liked it a lot, so it's here.

And for variety, a Sandman story, which I wouldn't reccommend reading unless you're past collection 8: The Boy who gave away his birthday, by Mary Borsellino, which is, well, not what I expected, and then what I expected, and has a very lovely feel towards the end.

Sorry, Jane. You asked for H/D links, but the Harry Potter links I seem to have kept all seem to be of other pairings. I'll go look some other time.