...I SQUISHIES.

I squishies them up, down, left right, strange, and charm, because they are just so cute. Yuuta was so bossy when he was young, and Syuusuke so sweet that you just want to sit them down and coo at them and muss their hair and pinch their cheeks, or just coo at them. Considering what Fuji might do to anybody who did anything to his otoutou that his otoutou didn't like. I squishies them anyway.

Yuuta wants to do almost everything his aniki does! (Fuji: Taberu, boku
Yuuta: Taberu boku mo!)
And it goes on in that vein. Then there was the bit where he tells his aniki not to run away, which was so incredibly cute that I went around the rest of the day grinning like a total idiot (I listened to the song at break) and spent the forty or so minutes I had free today sitting in the library grinning like a moron while listening to the song. Yuuta was so earnest as a little kid, you really want to squishies him. And for the perfect ending to the song, at the end you have adult (well, more or less) Aniki chuckling softly, and Yuuta going "Kimochi warui na, baka Aniki." You could almost see him blushing, it was that cute.

Their relationship reminds me awfully of the sort of article you used to see in Reader's Digest, back in the days when I actually read Reader's Digest- where a child, so cute and adorably clingy when young, grows up into a contrary, affection-repellant teen.. Awww, Yuuta's growing up! Aniki's incredibly sad and proud at the same time.

Uh, anyway, to wrok.

Ping Pong convinced me that there is no sports series Japan can make that does not contain cute gay and cute boys with the cute 'rivalry' thing going on with each other. Within the first five minutes of the show, I'd already put it on pause at least three times to call Meia and squeal about the cuteness of it all. While this is by no means an unprecedented phenomenon, three times in the first five minutes alone is a record. I wants to squishie them, yes I do.

Cute boys! With a cute friendship thing! One's named after the stars, the other, the moon. (Tsukimoto and Hoshino. Not in that order, of course.) They're so cute together, I must squishie. And the coach! ("Proposal mitai," he said to his delusion of Tsukimoto. "Date," he said later, to the actual boy. I squishies him too. He's not cute in the way of Tsukimoto or Hoshino, but he's still cute.)

Er, on a more serious note, after I got over the cutegayboi!quotient, Ping Pong was a good movie. It did a good job bringing to life the manga it was based on.. although I haven't read it yet, I have this itty bitty feeling that the manga probably contained all those moves with catchy names and fantastic showiness, which would have been difficult to bring to the big screen with real actors, and have the movie remain realistic. (must resist temptation to get manga just to compare. must resist. must resist temptation to get manga just to see cute Tsukimoto. ping pong! table tennis!)

But good as I think it was, it was still obvious that a lot of back story was left out.. it was never explained, for example, why the Kaio player Kazama felt that playing ping pong was painful- and a lot of the suspense was not as solid as it probably should have been, but given the constraints of time.. And I was a little disappointed with the ending- though thinking through everything, it shouldn't have ended any other way.

So, uh. Ping Pong.

It wouldn't be so bad, really, if I hadn't already spent more than a hundred dollars the previous month on Prince of Tennis alone. It's sad- I don't think this will be a permanent obsession- and I don't think this series is as good as some of the others I've read- but still, the amount I've spent on it.. ah, gratituous merchandising. I own shounen jump manga in a language I can only parse but minimally and slowly, which means I've sold my soul to jump. Damn you, Japan. Moreso than you've already damned yourself. Instead of spending my money on stimulating the Singaporean economy, I'm bleeding into the Japanese! Their balance of payments isn't even part of their economic problem.

..Singapore should import Japan. It would be the most improbable and unwieldy assimilation ever, but I'd feel much better. I'd also be selling my yearly-regenerating soul. (observation derived from careful study of my fangirl patterns.)

Otherwise, I also got myself The Little Prince, because Fuji reads it. Or at least, carries it to school everyday, according to Tenipuri 10.5. At least three people have called me a geek for this, but what do I care? I also read it yesterday, when I really should have been immersing myself in greek-letter hypothesis tests that I always mispronounce.

I think, that I will probably end up being enamoured of this book long after my obsession with PoT has faded. The allegory, as such, is heavy handed and obvious- but the story and style are so sweet, it's hard not to forgive it. Even if I don't agree with some of the author's views, cynic that I am, there are bits that just touch a chord- the story of the fox, for example. I loved the fox. I don't think I can describe it here- it's something each person has to read for himself or herself.

After I first finished reading TLP, I told myself, this is a love story. And it is, but I love it all the same.

So I do want to get a dog, yes. And it'd be wussy and big and friendly. I'm not particular about the breed. And I'd name it Sirius! (in his honour.) But since I started watching Prince of Tennis, I've been thinking of getting a cat, too.

I'd call it Fuji. It'd be a Predator.

This is to say, he deleted the Prince of Tennis episodes I was going to burn today for the people I'm meeting tomorrow. *sounds of screaming* Well, at least he apologised. Sort of. As close as someone like my dad ever gets to apologising to his daughter, at least. And he's letting me keep the computer on overnight so I have the chance to at least try to get it back- that was the oav, worse luck- but even so, given what bittorrent seems like tonight, at the most I'll only be able to get back one episode. DEATH.

Wanted to stay out to study today, but ended up going home instead. When I alighted from my bus it was raining- and I like the rain, I just don't like being caught in it- and so I stood there like an idiot wondering if I should wait it out or run home. Was calling my mother to ask if she was free and would she mind running down with an umbrella, until a blind man poked into me with his walking stick. Ended up helping blind man across road.

..Sir, I do not care if you're blind or not. Next time, /please/ don't try to jaywalk when there's two traffic lights within a stone's throw and you cannot see. /Please/ notice all the cars that are honking at you. I don't care if you care about public attention or not. They're honking for good reason.

Probably the only time I was actually awake today.

People are stupid. Not all people, but unfortunately, most of the ones who matter in global terms. The world is doomed, I tell you. Doo~med.

So now I shall proceed to talk about economics! Or rather, the world in an economics metaphor which no one who reads this shall get, even me, because I'm stoned and I don't know what I'm talking about. Anyway. So we're doing macroeconomic policies at school right now. If I recall correctly, during the last lecture we were evaluating Keynesian fiscal policy- the adjustment of government expenditure and taxation to affect aggregate demand. Governments (except for the Singapore Government, because we're just cool that way) love using expansionary discretionary fiscal policy to cure economic problems. Who doesn't like to spend, after all? Better class flights for ministers and presidents and government officials, expensive road contracts to give away and ailing industries or baby industries to support! Everybody likes expansionary fiscal policies.

Problem is, Keynesian fiscal policy was formulated to deal with the problem of deficient demand, not supply-side problems. There are other tools for that, perhaps not as easy or as attractive to use, but certainly the more efficient at solving the problem at hand. There is a quote from the lecture, which I only half-remember; something about "when all you have is a hammer, everything begins to look like a nail".

Some people only have mental hammers. Weak ones, in my unvarnished opinion- but unfortunately, very critically placed ones. But the world is not a nail.

Well, people are people. People are different. Generally speaking, people do things because they want to. It's all about personal tastes and choices- even if you're forcing someone to do something, the person has to choose to do it, because he or she doesn't like the alternative. Sometimes, as in cases where people are 'noble' or 'moral', this works out to the benefit of the species, or to society at large, as we like to call it. Sometimes it doesn't. This is what history tells us- not that we can't already work it out by empirical reasoning!

So sometimes people do things that benefit society, and sometimes they don't. Sometimes people intend to do 'good' things, but end up doing 'bad'. And vice versa. Sometimes people do things that are both 'good' and 'bad'. Okay. What is good, and what is bad? Does history teach us that people are more likely to do 'good' things or 'bad' things? Why am I using these as indicators for the case for pessimism or optimism?

And after all's said and done.. we're still here, aren't we? Us humans, I mean.

..who am I, where is my brain, and how am I going to start this GP essay?

*insert dramatic pause*

They all suffer from Japanese shounen aging disease!

This brought to you by four straight days of listening to Fuji's image song.

This brought to you by looking through the page of incomphrehensible remarks I wrote while trying to talk to Jane about PoT. I think I was telling her about my reading style of PoT: tennistennistennistennis *pause* Fujiiii!! [/fangirl]

On the other hand, being sick bought me two days off school, the second day of which I am currently enjoying.. or not, being doped up to the gills and trying not to fall asleep. I suppose I should sleep. But the parents are out and I wanted to start a download and.. right, sleep. I slept from nine to ten this morning, took medicine (why is western medicine always of the type that makes you drowsy?) slept even more.. somewhere around this time I should probably attempt some work, too. Ah well. I'd like to make a little rant first. This will make absolutely no sense if you have little knowledge of what's currently happening in Singaporean news. Or politics.

First off, the homosexuality issue. Recently the government made a public announcement, the gist of which was that they were now open to the idea of hiring gays. In typical Singaporean style, the reason given was economic in nature. This touched off a spate of debate in the newspaper forums.. (I don't know about online forums, since I don't frequent them.) and probably the furore and mindless anti-homosexual factions that came to light should have been expected, but I couldn't help being a little disgusted, all the same. They were the usual.. the bigoted-in-the-name-of-the-morality-of-our-society! while not, explaining to me, or any reader, exactly /why/ homosexuality was wrong. None of the letters I've read have. Then there was the letter (which I couldn't find online) from a couple of Christian priests. Which struck me almost as an announcement of jihad, because homosexuality was "sinful" and would erode the.. well, you get the idea.

Excuse me. Do the Muslims tell you not to eat pork?

Oh, and they said something about homosexuality being organised and militant, too. Hey look, it's a conspiracy of gay! Let us marshal the troops of the righteous and the moral, let us..

..anyway.

The second issue is about the Malaysian-Singapore water conflict.. the latest salvo, or so to speak, given that their ad campaign has been ongoing for a while now. All I have to say is that if the Malaysian government thinks that all that is involved in the production of any good is the cost of the raw materials, you'd have to kill me before I'd do any business with them. Ever. Admittedly three sen seems low, but more importantly, you set the price, it's legal, if you really want to discuss the price issue do it through proper channels, and HOW CAN YOU HAVE THE BLIMEY BALLS TO SAY THAT SINGAPORE PROFITS OFF YOU WHEN WE SELL DRINKING WATER TO YOU AT BELOW COST? We paid for the entire infrastructure of the pipes. We paid for the dam in.. some part of Malaysia, I don't remember. The cost was in billions. Of Singapore dollars. We sell you the water at a price lower than what it costs to make it drinkable. And when you bring up some smear campaign, we keep calm (well, the government kept calm, anyway. I suspect in part they saw it as 1. typical baseless Malaysian rhetoric 2. a good way to get more of the population acquisient to the idea of drinking treated waste water) abstaining from shameful displays of crowd-pleasing behavior.

I think I can understand the need to keep from descending to the Malaysian government's level. They are our closest neighbors, after all, on more than geographical levels, and after all's done and said we have to keep trading with them anyway, because it's in our benefit to do so. Principles of international trade, whoohoo. But sometimes, there are somethings that people just shouldn't have to stand for..

This entry was pointless. I was just trying to record some of my thoughts.

On a somewhat unrelated note, I need more Prince of Tennis. Why am I so interested in a manga which is basically an obsessive-compulsive mash of pages full of balls with poncy names? (i mean, snake!ball.. swallow-returns-to-the-nest!ball.. unappreciative-of-tennis!atashi sometimes wants to laugh at them, but they take it so seriously, the dear things.)

Mostly for one particular character, I'm almost ashamed to say. I've only read five volumes of manga so far (and had to stay up really late the night i got them to finish my work) -the beginning of the series, where presumably the art is still wonky and the story is still in the "creative stages". I don't know how exactly, when so far he's only been given minimal appearances, I managed to give myself a major case of obsession on one Fuji Shuusuke.

I don't even like that type, usually! The nikoniko oh-don't-look-at-me-like-that-my-dear,-sweet-oh-so-lovely-*insert name of stalkee here*-aren't-I-just-so-innocent? line of characters, where he takes cocktails and knocks elbows with the likes of Eriol, Loki, maybe Umeda-sensei.. (can't you just see fuji becoming a doctor when he grows up? he would be a most eeevvil doctor. his patients would love him, when they weren't busy being terrified.)

Only I don't /really/ think that Fuji is innocent. Uh, not in the mental way, I mean. And yet, he's fifteen. He's /short/, compared to the rest of the team.. when he walks beside the team captain, for instance, it's quite a boggling contrast. Not quite grown into his adult grace yet, to put it kindly, but still.. he is, by far, the most sexay one out of all of them. In my humble opinion.

..excuse me, I need to go wash out my mind. Fixation on a fifteen year old boy! Dear me! (not that i've not had worse. i think. but his teammate, the main character, he's only twelve!)

I also picked up a phone ornament of a chibi Akira that was absolutely adorable. Would have got Hikaru, or Sai, (because akira, in comparison to them, seems just too dignified to be swinging around on the rear end of a phone) but they were out of stock, and to order the set would have cost me forty dollars. I cry, but I wish to eat sometime, so I restrained myself.

Got myself vol. 1 of Prince of Tennis, which (in retrospect, amusingly) I once went around calling Tennis no Ojousama. (my japanese is seriously retarded, okay? and, it seems, non gender-discrimatory.) I've read it. And I quite like it. Reminds me of the structure of my old band, a little. I like Ryoma, (Ryouma?) the main character, but, reading the manga, I found that smiling third year who spends much of his time with his eyes closed seems far more interesting. Kaori informs me that his name is Fuji. *imprints*

Before all that, I spent my time alternatively doing center of mass and equilibrium of rigid bodies (the latter topic sounds so fun, doesn't it?) questions and reading Abhorsen, third of the Sabriel series by Garth Nix. While I love Sabriel and resolve to own it someday, Abhorsen was a sad, sad disappointment, as was Lirael before it. I thought that the plot was weak, the world not as nicely planned and the general driving force pale in comparison. I didn't enjoy it at all. This might have been due to my dislike of Lirael, though. It's hard to shake off my perception of her as a sulky, overly-angsty teenage brat, whatever her reasons. Mr Nix, I thought overdid that by more than a tad, and it's colored my view of Lirael ever since. (so what if you don't have the sight? so what if you're a teenager? i'm a teenager, and i don't think that it's that bad.) As a heroine, compared to Sabriel, she was sad, but she just kept discovering these new powers, these fancy things /she/ had to do.. it didn't seem right, somehow.

Dad bought the Animatrix and is watching it now. I really wish he hadn't done that.. because the first time I watched it I gave myself nightmares, and now that it's at home and available, sometime or other I'll probably watch it again and give myself even more nightmares.

At first I thought it was a reaction to the philosophical issue of it; what if life as we know it is.. yadda yadda. But then I realised that it really wasn't, since I'd thought about stuff like that before, and it had never really disturbed me. (why should it matter, after all? it's a question, I think, of priorities.) Then I thought it was a reaction to machines ruling over humans- perhaps I was a human supremacist at heart? And maybe partly I reacted so strongly to it because of that. But that shouldn't be all of it.

Now I realise it's simply the gore. Since I watched the second part of "The Second Renaissance" first. The killing, the atmosphere created by the voiceover, the screams.. that scene of the soldier in his battle suit, ripped bodily limb from limb, is something I find it hard to forget. Screaming desperately for help, even when none looked to be forthcoming.. okay, I shall stop reminiscing about it now.

I /really/ wish I hadn't watched that particular one first.

Ah well. My own stupid fault. Anyway. Was blogging about my exam timetable, which is the best I have had yet. (That I can remember.) Four papers, four days- which leaves the last day gloriously free- and every day an afternoon paper, except for the last one. Ye people with your common tests on now, feel free to kill me. (I'll be killing myself when I get my results back anyway. I was a moron and didn't study much at all.)

Would have blogged more during the hols, but was continually sidetracked.. mum calling me to do something every fifteen minutes or so.. Harry Potter and The (If you listen closely, I bet you can still hear the echoes of the fangirl screams) .. Various Other Things to Read.. (for the first bit of the hols anyway) Xenogears.. sister and dad wanting the computer.. I think my sister is entering a difficult phase in her life now, because she's been really nasty lately. I thought people outgrew scratching other people as a means of getting their own way at twelve? Apparently not. OW. I think I'mma scar.

My grandmother's staying over now, to take care of my dad who's at home recovering from a hip operation. He's a good invalid, even though he was stuck upstairs for what seemed the longest time and has to walk with a cane for a long time yet. But the side effect of this is that the entire house is starting to smell permanently of fish, because my dad (according to my grandma) cannot take essence of chicken, nor of beef.. so yeah, fish. He takes this disgusting (or so he told me) bottled stuff with ginseng and ginger, in addition to the soups my grandma makes and all the other stuff. Fish soups, beehoon, fish fried, steamed, braised, steeped in chinese wine.. she even makes her own fish balls, which are really good even if they look like balls of clay. Downside is, I'm starting to get really sick of fish.

(Post-dinner addendum: My grandma, she even makes her own fish-cakes! But they're very salty..)

Might as well put in stuff about Xenogears here, since mum says that it is getting close to your A levels and you are Not To Touch your games (and is quite right. If I want to do reasonably well, anyway.)

I like Bart. I started out mildly disliking him and his habit of.. shall we say, rushing into things like a whip-wielding ship-driving king lemming on crack with tunnelvision, but it wore off. After all you go through, how can anyone /not/ like Bart? Penile metaphor sandship and missiles and all. I like Fei and Elly, too. Though they have perhaps the most boring (in dynamic, not in ..circumstance) relationship ever. They do not merely understand each other very well, they /are/ each other. But they're still cute.

The character I adore most, however, has to be Billy. Billy the Etone! Billy the gunslinging priest! (and we all know what role religion plays in square games) ..Billy made me love Bart.

("You fool! Listen... Next time you and your sister need help, come to my ship. We're self-sufficient, so at least you don't need to worry about food and a place to sleep! Now, don't you ever say 'sell your body' in front of me ever again...! You understand!?"
"Could this be...? Maybe you are a 'nice guy' after all...? well... you haven't taken care of us yet, so I won't say it!")

..I love Billy. But it's funny. I watched Meia play Xenosaga before I even touched Xenogears, and I thought of Chaos as a priest-type person who /would/ run an orphanage. Even though the person who most reminds me of Billy the-priest-who-runs-an-orphanage-with-really-cool-kids in Xenosaga is Junior. (Jr. strikes me as the love child of Billy and Bart, actually. The guns! The attitude!)

I even like the 'villains' in Xenosaga. Most of whom seem to, sadly, allow themselves to be characterised in cheesy one liners.

For example: Dominia.

(It's in front of me!!!! Kill!!!)

Or Ramsus. (It's Fei!!! Kill!!) ..and though I like Ramsus, I so did not need to see him in his Speedos out of bed.

Or, for that matter, Graf, whom, I swear, seems to turn up just before every boss battle to give your enemies more power. (It's Fei!!! Annoy!! Blossom, o fallen seed, and grant to thee the glorious power of the mother of Destruction..) Graf used to scare me, but after about the sixth time he turns up to make your enemies more powerful- and I beat them up, I have terrorised all the enemies so far in this game because I keep getting stuck in their dungeons- all this and all the while giving That Speech..

Miang now, Miang does scare me. Probably because she seems to be.. nice. Nothing like the person who will cheerfully string you up by your toes and then politely inquire if you're.. well, you get the idea. Miang, perhaps because she seems to be so nice, is summarised thusly in my mind.. (It's in front of me! Shag!!)

I might apologise to Miang for that. But I won't apologise to any of the rest of them.

Revision now. I have Further Maths tomorrow!

..I swear, I didn't cheat on this one. In fact, this is the last result I might have expected- though oddly appropriate. When I watched Finding Nemo some time ago, see, I'd slept very late the night before, and as a result turned up rather stoned throughout the entire outing. We joked that I was Dory.

Re: Babel Tower, Xenogears

If Babel Tower ever gave God as much trouble as it's giving me, no wonder he destroyed it.

Love, Aine

PS. I hate you.

..another one of these! Hoo hoo hoo.

...I need to lay off the suikocrack.

Not kidding about the banshee part. I am never, ever accepting a lift from her again- usually I don't, because it's my dad who drives every day to work and he gives me lifts to school. (which is a major lifesaver, since otherwise I'd have to wake up at four every morning.. or learn to sober up my sleep-drunk without spending half an hour in the toilet just stoning.) I didn't ask for the lift- she offered, and I thought, why not- how hard can it be to find an MRT station in Singapore anyway? I can find them easily enough on bus.. even if we do live in the eastern part of Singapore that is NOT ulu (remote, deserted, out of the way) but just happens to lack an MRT station because it's reclaimed land and a train station could be destabilising.

We ended up spending an hour in the car driving around trying to find a place where I could get off. In the end I just screamed to be let off- thankfully I found a station without too much trouble.. all this though I have a straight bus to my destination. It's selfish and ungrateful, but I hate wasting time. I was really angry at my mom for promising something she couldn't deliver. Grrr.

Funny thing is, immediately after I got off I called Meia and ranted a bit- also to let her know I was probably going to be late- and then I started to feel- not guilty, but worried. My mother really doesn't do well in a car when she's agitated, and I was afraid she'd get into a car accident or something after I left. Thankfully, nothing did happen. And I hope nothing of the sort ever will.

So going to fail this one. I suppose it'll shock the people in class who persist in thinking I'm actually good at this subject, but that would be a relief, since I won't feel obligated to try and live up to their expectations during class anymore. Although, given my school's latest mania with pulling up our GP grades (though they do have a point, it being ridiculous to get four As and a fail for GP) I will probably catch a lot of flak for 'deproving' so much. Graaaaah.

GP class yesterday was fun, though. As an after-test activity, we presented songs in class.. pop vocal songs, unfortunately, or I would have had a wider (and in my opinion more inspired) selection.. but the emphasis was on the lyrics and not on the music. How sad.. I don't even listen to the lyrics when I listen to music usually.. but listening to the songs that were presented, I have very odd taste, anyway, so perhaps it was better that people were not subjected to odd instrumentals and indistinguishable lyrics. (Though given that we ended up presenting a Jay Chou song, maybe they were, anyway.)

I've had no problem with the battles so far, except that after a while the animations get boring. Course, that's probably because I am a total wipeout at the navigation system, and I wander about so much that I can level 'em up four levels in a single area.. before I've got them out of the first part. Square.. if somewhere out there you're listening to this.. QUIT WITH THE PLATFORM SHIT! (sorry) *sulks* I cannot jump, I cannot run, I hate the camera angles.. but for now I'll keep going, if only just to see what they make of all the foreshadowing. It'd better be something.

Five pages or so in.. crossdressing! Flip a few more, and there you have your quota of Completely Random Gay! ..or not so completely random, as the story proceeds. My, but you're starting them young, Sugisaki sensei. I like the cousin, who reminds me of Eriol, only (albeit debatably) prettier. He manages to pull off Sweet and Nice in a way that Eriol never did, which somehow scares me. It was only at the end of the book when I decided that yes, he is definitely not as Sweet and Innocent as he appears to be. Then, halfway into the book, you have a kid whom I /swear/ is an unholy cross between Dark and Krad. A Hikari/Niwa crossbreed, whooboy. He has Dark's hair, and a whip-like weapon which reminds me of Krad's braid. And a personality which might have belonged to either of them when young and not so hot. I didn't find either of the brothers as interesting as these two- the older on is usually serious and can get adorably flustered.. the younger is hot-headed and not as studious. They're cute boys.. but as they're Bunny-sensei's boys how could they not be cute?

The plot seems to be something about fighting ghosts/monsters/spirits- the two brothers are part of a clan that deals with this sort of stuff. At times it can get almost like Tokyo Babylon. But when was Sugisaki sensei ever big on plot?

(Who /would/ Taikoubou be, I mean? McDohl? Riou? Hugo? Luc? Or a scary amalgation of all of them?)

Read Naruto 17, which grabbed me by the head and made me /like/ Sasuke. Previously I'd been reading the series mostly for Kakashi, who is the fruitiest teacher ever to grace the halls of a ninja school- and I still like him, but Sasuke in 17 was just.. maybe it was the entire sullen "I have a past, and it's here," thing the manga pulled off. Or maybe.. I dunno. I rather like his brother too, but I cannot figure out Itachi. Either he is the craziest person I have ever known of, or he is sane, and breathtakingly nihilist. He could be working undercover and thus be secretly good, of course, but I doubt that's likely.

Book 17 did set the series up for a long haul, though. Given it seems like it will be a long time before some of the plot threads are resolved. Am I surprised? Not really.

I couldn't think of what to write, so I wrote, "I like bananas." Short and sweet, I thought. And it went down okay. I actually do like bananas. I buy them from school a lot.

And then I got home, and I stagnated for a while, and then it hit me. ARRRRRRRGH why, of all fruit, did I state that I liked bananas? I do, really, I like the tropical fruit of the non-human attached kind, but.. It's a really good thing that my class is not into innuendo of that sort, or.. oh my.. banana.